I don’t often get asked where I got my name from. It is a fairly common name for women my age and at various times through school and college, I always had a handful of Jennifers or Jennys in my class or social circle. My parents actually were going to call me Karen and there were just as many Karens as Jennifers so they must both have been the common names at the time. They randomly called me Jennifer at the last minute and I much prefer Jennifer but it would have been nice to know that my parents had put a little bit more thought into it than that…haha. I wasn’t named after a family member or a biblical character although my middle name was after one of my mum’s sisters because her own name was already taken as a middle name of my own sister.
Today I felt God speak to me about my name..not the name my parents gave me but the names he has placed on me and over my life and the wrestling match he has had to have with me over what I call myself. I was not named after anyone and my parents didn’t choose my name because of its meaning or because they knew a girl called Jennifer. I think we can be the same when it comes to the names we give ourselves and the names others give us. We don’t do it with intention and thought. How often do I intentionally give myself a name with intention? God is not random when it comes to calling us by name….He is intentional about what he calls me..he places great significance on what he calls me and how he calls me. Today I woke up with a name he was calling me. I had heard before and it felt a little strange that it was on my mind. I felt however that He was responding to a situation I have been walking through and he was challenging me to believe for esomething different and for me to respond from a differnt place. He was asking me to deal with this situation from a different identity tha. The one I was responding from. I was looking for a different attitude but it had to come from how he saw me not how I was seeing, I find myself forgetting what he calls me and in response find myself yearning for something from humanity around me rather that what I find in him. Instead of living from a place where that is already my name. I find I need the void filled rather than living from a place of already being full.
So so what was this name…? Today I woke up with the name ‘beloved‘. He calls me BELOVED. If I were to live from a place of knowing I am BELOVED would it change how I responded when love was not forthcoming? When I genuinely believe that is my name and that is what I am, I don’t have to yearn and strive to feel that from those around me. What does choosing to live from BELOVED mean? It gives me balance and security and a sense of deep satisfaction that overflows in thanksgiving, honour and regard for those around me. It is not as if I was even aware I needed to hear it but it has certinaly helped me find peace over some things I am wrestling with. I would normally find myself arguing and reasoning with God over this and that and such and such us but today He preempted by situation and got me sorted early. Today I heard him and I choose to lean in to what he is saying abut me. I must let his word prosper in my heart rather than resist it.
As a woman..(it is a well known scientific fact that the majority of women never feel complete confidence that they are loveable, lovely, loved and valued) living BELOVED does not come easy. This name BELOVED challenges, confronts and meets my natural need with a supernatural reality and provison that overrides a scientific normality.
Today I am Jennifer but I am also BELOVED.
I don’5 write this blog for me…I write it for my readers and I know that spoke this word over me today for my situation but I also believe he spoke this word so that I would scribe it over my readers. I don’5 know what life has scribed over your heart but I do know that God is speaking the name BELOVED over you and that he wants you to live and respond from that place. It does make a difference….
‘My BELOVED is mine and I am his and his banner over me is love.. ‘Song of Solomon 2:16
I published this blog a couple of days ago and today a facebook post came through my feed, written a couple of days ago by Ann Voskamp, with these words. I am listening…
God is at work. He does not slumber.
Christ intercedes. He does not fail.
The Spirit comforts. He does not forsake.
Be at rest. Be at peace.
Your name at the end of the day is Beloved.