Who is she who looks forth as the dawn’. Song of Solomon 6:10
She is a seer, a visionary. ..
Our dining room table is like an historical watering hole…the place our family gather at the end of the day to share nutritious food but also where we share our souls, our day. It’s an opportunity to hear stories, laugh and tell jokes, creates memories, address family values, do family devotions, talk about world events and personal challenges? It is also the best place to teach my kids basic manners and formalise some kind etiquette and also teach them to pray. Over my 13 years as a mum, our dining room table has served so many different purposes in the different stages of my kids lives. It is something we want to intentionally invite others to be a part of.
Regardless of how much I like sitting around the table and how much I value and see this as important, it just is not going to happen without my help. Given our schedule, (family, work church and family), it can take some juggling. About three years ago, when Ethan was 10, we found ourselves in a season where this ‘vision’ was about to dissipate, as r family demands began to hold us to ransom, Our evenings took on a a life of their own – Steve was playing basketball on Monday nights, I had nurture on Tuesday nights, Wednesday nights Brooke had gymnastics and Ethan had basketball on Thursday nights and Friday nights was our family date night.
I remember feeling frustrated with trying to get a meal on the table and get everyone to connect with a a short space of time and pressure to make this time of the day work while our evenings were a hodge podge of crazy and stressed and nothing like the vision I had in my heart. I realised that frustration and disappointment are often good signs that I am a visionary..that I had a vision that is not being realised and something needs to change. But this sitting around the table thing was not easy of practical.
I realise I had a vision for something and there was nothing wrong with the vision. It was an ideal that could easily have been laid down. We were living according to a schedule not according to my vision..so we acknowledged it, we dialogued it and came up with a plan. We made some decisions that were not determined by what life demanded at that season but rather what we wanted for our family, not just in the season we were in but for the long term and what we had in mind for our family for the teen years coming up. I thought it would be hard because it would mean the kids would have to ‘suffer’ but they were incredibly accommodating and non resistant. I think prayer and our approach helped. We pulled Brooke out of gymnastics, and put her into musical theatre. This freed up Wednesday nights and she was out the same night that Steve did basketball on Mondays. Ethan had a term off basketball which freed up Thursday nights. And I handed my nurture group in the evening to someone else who was more than capable of running one, and freed up Tuesday nights.All of a sudden we were able to reclaim our four nights a week and I had my evenings back. sTeve and I do a lot after the kids are in bed but that sacred time between 5 and 7:30 is ours. Ever since then, we have looked at all the extra-curricular activities and made sure that what we say ‘YES’ to, aligns with our vision. Each season takes some juggling and work to make this happen. This year, all three basketballersin r family are out on a Monday night but the rest of the week we work hard to gather at our watering hole.
Being a visionary is about being practical and looking at what I do as a mum wiht oversight and foresight, insight and hindsight, looking down the road and seeing what we are beliving for and linking my role as a mum with my role as a visionary, then saying yes to what will bring those things to pass. It is as practical as what do we do with our evenings, our schedule, our priorities. If I want my kids to be great readers …it doesn’t happen wihtout a plan and effort. i can envision them reading in bed every night but it takes my role as a mum and my vision for thier reading capacity and linking them into my every day. Sitting with them every night and reading to them and letting them read to us as a priority has lead to both our kids loving books and reading. It took, time and patience and scheduling and pushing past resistance. Now you will find them nearly every night lying in bed reading some adventure and wishing I wouldn’t turn the lights out.
What are you saying ‘yes’ to, that is not aligning with the vision God has put in your heart or the things you desire to do with your life or your family. It might be something to do with your health or as simple as eating dinner around the table, carving out time to help other people, or even seeking help with your finances. Being a seer or a visionary is as simple as making the hard calls that realign your life and decisions with what you ultimately desire to be. Are you being held at the mercy of a busy schedule or demanding people who can’t see what you are seeing. I am often at the mercy of the immediate and the demands of now only when I have stopped being a visionary. I don’t want to always get to the point of frustration before I can see. Being a visionary helps me say ‘NO’ to immediate demands because I know that those immediate demands will impact on the where I want to be.
I think God has gifted women with intuitive foresight to see where our hard calls will take us in the long run but also the strength and courage to make them. We just need to get our brave on. Ask God to help you see with foresight, oversight, insight and hindsight and be willing to follow through and tweak and change what is not working.