My boy vented some horrible things about his sister yesterday. I think he was surprised I cared enough to act on it…but what he didn’t know is that I have been watching for a few days and seeing a pattern that I didn’t like and I jumped on it. I love him too much to allow a root of bitterness to spring up in his heart that will one day (untreated and not removed) cause major issues in his relationship with people and with God. That conversation became heated…especially when he said out loud things he didn’t mean. Was he being obnoxious? No! He was actually saying what he felt and needed me to help process his perceptions with truth. Afterwards I realised that I became his filter of truth. I was able to take what he felt and what he said and reinterpret it for him. I needed to be a safe space in order to filter is emotions. What if I had not been safe. I am not always that person. I can get cross with what he says because it is rude or obnoxious or I can see myself as a filter…to help interpret the world around him and see things differently. He needs to feel heard and then he needs to listen to hear back what it is his heart is saying. His heart was yelling frustration, and bitterness and resentment and when he saw it like that he didn’t like what he saw and he immediately moved from anger and needing to feel heard to repentance and forgiveness. Thank you Jesus…that one day he won’t need me to be Jesus with skin on and one day he will hear the Holy Spirit interpreting his voice with a filter of truth. He will need to feel heard and he will know he is heard because he has learnt that he is not always the best filter for his experiences. Why will he turn to Jesus for truth…he knows he’s heard and he knows freedom is found there! the best is yet to come. The best is when he no longer have to be his filter of truth becaue he when he feels that resentment replacing peace …he will go where he knows freedom and peace is found…the place where the filter of truth will set him free. That person is not me...it is Jesus. That is jesus completing the work that he started.
Frustration and anger are often (not always) great indicators of one thing.. Our need to feel heard. We all need to feel heard. We all have a voice. This is an issue of identity. If I don’t feel heard by someone, then I will either shut down and pull away because I don’t feel cared for or I will get angry and vent becasue I need someone to hear. Feeling heard has everything to do with feeling safe. Why would I tell God anything if I don’t know his love is real.
Why would I pray if I don’t feel he hears me. If I know that God hears me and I am heard then I can take everything to him and I don’t have to talk to everybody else. I can even take my discontent to him. If there are struggles and prison bars coming towards me and I feel the grip of the shackles ..I am heard..I can be honest and open and know that God will filter what I am going through with truth and wisdom and power. Why do I vent to others, why do I moan or why am I silent . Because I do not feel heard or feel God does not care.
When I Brugge most in my marriage it is because I am expecting Steve to hear me but all he hears is frustration and disappointment, I take it to God first, he filters it with truth and love and peace. why should my husband bear the brunt of my frustrations. I can now in hindsight see how powerful prayer really is.
Paul’s ability to pray for others with such compassion and tenderness says something about his theology of prayer. He feels heard, he filters his experience through truth. I am heard!!